Q&A Answers!

Here are the answers to the questions I have been asked so far. If you have anymore feel free to leave them in the comments here or the previous post and I will do a Q&A part 2 :)


How many kids do you guys want?


Thats a good question. And the answer is I really don't know. I would love to have a big family. Realistically right now I think three is our max. Only because we drive a compact car and we can’t fit any more care seats. Our house has room for more so if we get a bigger car then that number will grow. I am sure when the time comes we will figure out a way to make it work. i don't really see our family stoping at three but you never know what God has in store.


Do you want to continue adopting? Or perhaps go Foster-only?

When we started this journey our intention was only to foster. We did not plan on adopting. When we got the call about William we were in shock that he was a foster to adopt placement. Now we are much more open to adoption. We still are receptive to any type of placements and make our decisions on a case-by-case basis.

I was wondering how you decided on foster care? How William came to you and how long it took to adopt him?

The story of becoming foster parents and William’s placement can be found here~

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

(I called him B before we finalized his adoption)
That story Here

(Mia’s name is not really Mia in case you were wondering)

Our time line went something like this

January 1st, 2009~ Michael and I talked about becoming Foster Parents

January 4th, 2009 ~ Filled out any inquiry form with our agency

January- March, 2009~ Training, Home studies, Background Checks, References

March 20th, 2009 ~ Approved for placements

April 1st, 2009~ William was placed with us

March 23, 2010~Williams Adoption was finalized


Are you fostering through the county, state or private party?

We work though an agency. We do work with the county on a regular basis as well but our placement calls come from our agency. Our visits are held at the county office. Our caseworker from our agency comes to our house every two weeks and the county caseworker comes out once a month. If we could I would just work with the county. Unfortunately our county doesn’t work directly with foster parents. There must be an agency involved, maybe because there are 1.5 million people in our county, I don’t know.


Have you only had the two in your care, or have other's come into your home and hearts?

We had a five-year-old boy placed with us in May. He was an emergency placement and we had almost no background info when we got the call. It felt right to say yes to the placement but almost right away I knew that our family was not the best fit for him. I still think there was a reason for him coming to us. He stayed for two weeks and I wanted so badly to make it work but in the end I knew it wasn’t fair for him to stay here. He was Autistic (we found this out after he left) and all of the stimulation of your house was incredibility overwhelming for him. I feel like if we had this information upfront I would have been able to better accommodate for his needs. But I really had no idea what was going on with him. He would be playing peacefully one moment and then have a violent outburst the next. His behavior was unpredictable and came on with no warning. When William came he had some serious behavior issues we had to work trough but it was much simpler because it was just him in the house. I never had to worry about anyone else getting hurt. Now with two other kids in the house I have to think about their safety. And as much as we loved this little boy it just wasn't safe. He moved in with a family where his is the only child. Unfortunately the family that he moved to is not from our agency so we were not able to get updates about him. I think about how he is doing regularly. It is hard not to second-guess this decision. It felt right saying yes to the placement but it also felt like he needed to be in a place better suited to fit his needs. Sometimes in foster care you have to make hard choices and think about all of the people in your house not just yourself.


What is the greatest advice you would give to someone wanting to foster?


Have faith. Gods timing is not always the same as yours. Know that every child that is placed with you was hand picked for your family by him. If they stay forever or go in a day they are with you in this moment for a reason. And above all else they are His children and he has a plan for them just as He has a plan for you. The more you are able to surrender to that the clearer the fostering path will become.

Q&A....Ask Away!

I try to answer questions as they come up in comments or emails
But I know there have been at least a few that have fallen through the cracks
So if you have anything that you would like to ask me
About foster care, adoption, photos, or whatever...
Leave it in the comments here and I will answer it to the best of my ability

Before and After

This week for Pixel Perfect Before and After blog hop I edited this photo of Michael and William from our summer vacation. This is one of my all time favorite pictures of the two of them. It looked pretty good SOOC so I just did a little tweaking in Picasa and here is what I got.

 

~SOOC~

~Edit~

Taken with my Canon Rebel T1i

And speaking of my T1i it is no more! Turns out that whatever caused it to stop turning on (kinda an important feature of a camera) was not fixable. I was so upset when it stopped working that all I could think about was being without my camera and how much this whole thing sucked. Then I got a call from Canon and they are replacing my camera since it was still under manufactures warranty. And even better then that I don't have to get the same camera I can use the credit for something else. I was able upgrade to the Canon 60d! So as it turns out it was a total blessing that my camera broke and all that despair was completely unnecessary (as usual) So all I have to do now is wait like a crazy person at my door everyday for my mailman in hope he come bearing gifts. So excited!

Make sure to hop over to Monica's blog and check out all of the awesome edits this week. There is also a sweet giveaway this week so maybe this would be a good week for you to link up if you don't already :)



~ONE~

Sweet pea,

The last 6 months have truly flown by
It hard to believe you have been with us half of your little life now
You have grown so much in that time
And you have helped us grow as well

~April~

You learned how to sit on your own and figured out how to roll over

~May~

You got your first tooth

~June~

You said Dada for the first time

~July~

You learned how to stand on you own

Then you clapped for yourself :)

~August~

You said Mama for the first time and it was well worth the wait

~September~

You took your first steps

which I have yet to capture on film

My how much you have grown!

I Will

This has always been my favorite Beatles song. My friend Claire and I found the sheet music in her house one day many years ago. We had never listened to the original but she played it and we sung our little hearts out. When I finally listened to the original it was not quite like it was in my head. This morning I found this cover and it was perfect. I sing this song to William before bed.

~I WILL~

The Beatles

 Who knows how long I've loved you

You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime

If you want me to, I will

For if I ever saw you

I didn't catch your name

But it never really mattered

I will always feel the same

Love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart

And when at last I find you

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you to me

Oh, you know I will

I will 

Cover by Jasmine Commerce

Wordless Wednesday

Long Road

I have been a bit delusional when it comes to the time frame of foster care
Its hard not to because everyday this little girl becomes more a part of our family
Its a long road and so much can change in that time
There is really know way to predict what is going to happen
And this is unsettling

We had a visit with her mom yesterday

We talked about things that never were on the table before

She brought up adoption

I thought that this was what I wanted to hear

If before the visit I was asked what the perfect conversation

with her would sound like it would have been this

But it wasn't what I wanted to hear at all

As much as I thought it would be

I thought the stress of the unknown would melt away

But the truth is it just broke my heart

To see her mom feel so defeated

Broken down by the system, by her choices, by her family
To see the pain that she is in

To see her believe there is no way out

Yesterday she was done trying

Done fighting

She felt no mater how hard she tried

She would never be able to give her baby what we have

And honestly I have had these thoughts myself

But its simply not true

She is a good person in a bad situation

But its fixable

And as much as part of me agreed with what she was saying

I knew it was fear that made me think these things

We all have stumbled

We all have lost our way

We all have felt pain that we thought was more then we could take

But she CAN get back up
Its not going to be easy
Its not going to happen over night
But there is not a single person on this planet that is hopeless
God obviously still has faith in her or she wouldn't be here

I tried to tell her all of this but I'm not sure it was what she wanted to hear

Sometimes its overwhelming thinking about the work it will take

Sometimes its seems like giving up is the best option

But its NOT

And no matter how much I love this little girl
It is my job to love her mom just as much

Because she is a child just like all of us are

And regardless of her choices she still deserves love

Its so hard to love but not want to possess

I love this little girl so much and I want her to be mine
But that's not really love
None of us belong to our parents here on earth
Only to our father in heaven

As parents its our responsibility to nurture , protect, and shape our children's character

But we do not own them
Just like my parents do not own me
And knowing this is the only thing that melts the fear of the unknown away~

Back in action

Last weekend we went to the Aquarium with Michael's Mom and Dad. As soon as we got there I snapped one picture and that was it. My camera turned off and never turned back on. My heart sunk as every perfect photo opportunity passed by and not matter what I tried there was no fixing it. I took it to the camera store hoping they would be able to fix it but no such luck. It is now sitting in a box in my  living room waiting to be shipped to Canon for repairs. I was super upset that I wouldn't be able to take pictures of Mia's first birthday this weekend but my dad was generous to let me  barrow his.

Today on our way home from Mia's visit with her mom we saw a sign for a wildlife preserve about a mile from our house. It is so crazy that we had never seen the sign before because we drive this way all the time. We decided to follow the signs and check it out.

As we drove closer it seemed like the signs we taking us deeper into civilization. Keep in mind we live in the intercity so its hard to believe that wildlife (apart from squirrels and pigeons) could really survive here to begin with. The final sign pointed directly across the street from a pretty shady housing complex.

We drove in and it was like we entered a different world. The whole city was blocked out by trees. Sounds of crickets and bird filled our ears. We walked and felt the cool breeze against our skin. This place was a much needed respite from our busy day. I am so grateful we found it.